Waiting sometimes I am not good at it. Patience is a virtue that I so need to help in having. Today in another of my mom's procedures. Colonoscopy which means they have to put her to sleep b/c of all of her other issues. We just had to to sedate our dog Roxie two days ago for them to see that she has a torn ACL, Arthritis, and a bad hip. And now I am sitting and waiting for my mom's procedure. (Everything went well.)
The two books and magazines to read aren't calling my name yet. I am just waiting for yet again of the reality that my mom is in essence just a person, a child of God that has to live with a disease/disorder that hurts her everyday. And this is on my first real day of summer. I printed out a couple of my daily e-maul encouragements. The one in my lap is about Anger. I am not Angry. Tired, sad, but not Angry. The paper says:
Be Ready
1 Peter 5:8
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.
I think that the lion part is what always gets everyone, but the self-control is what hit me. That's really what I need to work on. Self-control in the way of:
-Words that come out of my mouth about and to others
-The food that I put into my mouth.
-What I spend my money on. Debt can make someone feel as though they are a FAILURE That's also how the devil wants you to feel. I know that everyone has debt. I know that my future husband won't be, "Oh Hold On, you owe that much? You're not for me."
The devil would love for me to crawl into bed and sleep away the summer. To spend more since I am already in debt. To eat crap and gain back all of my lost weight.
God wants me to give it all to Him. To realize that HE is really the one in control. That I am clean and as white as snow. That God has my Mom and is right beside her as she goes through her procedure today and any other ones she has to have.
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