Could you get me a size 14?
Thursday Spring Break What a week. I'm tired from working out, but not enough to stop. I did RPM tonight with friends. It's so nice to have someone you know in the class with you. (It's harder to leave in the middle or push yourself so much) when you are alone in a class. So, on the bike at RPM and in the middle of like 4 out the 7 songs we are climbing. You put the gear as far up as you can and are standing up climbing at a regular pace b/c it feels like mud. You are jogging in mud. Then all of a sudden the music somehow goes even faster and you are told to run. You somehow just start going faster than you ever thought you could. And I DID IT! I did it for 8 seconds. I pushed myself and it felt so good. When I am on the bike I keep thinking, "I'm really doing this." I asked Jenny if she liked having a healthy sister to hang out with and work out with. I remember times when I couldn't even jog, I walked the whole time while doing a mile. Now I can easily jog a whole mile straight. I remember when I couldn't leave the house, let alone my bed/the couch b/c my panic attacks were so bad b/c I couldn't breathe. Now, I'm half of my milligrams on my medicine and I have ways to help myself when I'm feeling anxious. I have meditation music to go to sleep to. I know to get away from situations and to take a walk. I know how to work with my breathing to get it back down to a good base. TODAY was another proud moment for me. A book that I would recommend to ANYONE but especially someone who struggles with weight is Jemima J. I have read it over and over. It's about to quickly say, an overweight shy girl who works off her weight. One day she goes to the store with her best friend who of course happens to be model thin. She gets her hair done and then brings herself with her baggie workout clothes to a clothing store. I like to picture her going to an Old Navy or Gap. Jemima goes in with her friend and picks out things right off of the rack. The thing is, is that her friend has to keep going back to get a smaller size b/c Jemima J hasn't truly realized how much weight she has lost. That's what happened to me TODAY. Jenny, Mom and I went to the movies. I asked them to stop at one of the best stores, DOTS, b/c they always have new things and I still had a $30 gift card from Christmas. I really wanted a new outfit for Easter. Well, I tried on a couple of large dresses and they actually fit!!! I didn't get them b/c they were spaghetti strapped and short. Not school attire. But, I did get a cute a white sweater that doesn't go all the way down my back. Here's the moment: We stopped into Walmart and I decided to try on a spring dress that I have looked at and thought, "When I lose more weight than they will fit/look good." Well, I got a size 18 and 16. 16 I thought would be too tight and I could get at another time. I tried on a 16 that was just plain purple. It was BIG! I asked Mom to just get a size 14 in a checkered colored one, thinking that it would be too tight. IT WASN'T!!!! It fit really well and it's blue checkered, which hides flaws much better than a plain purple one. So, I want to tell you how much of a big deal this SIZE 14 dress is! I have a blue jean skirt that I have worn all of the time. Are you thinking of it now? If you know me, you have seen me in it. Well, since it's been spring like out I brought more capris and this jean skirt to the front of my closet. Well, in trying this skirt on, it is too big. It just FALLS OFF and then I look at the tag. My every day wearing blue jean skirt is a SIZE 20 and now I have a SIZE 14 dress to wear! I have SO SO always wanted to be Jemima J and have a striking new hairstyle and be able to go into a store and try on any shirt, pant, or skirt that I want and not have to think, "No", b.c they don't have an XXL or even an XL. Today I was able to do something that I've wanted to for a long time and it makes me smile on the inside, just like it did when I was running on the bike and really pushing myself and working through it during those 8 seconds.
Thursday Spring Break What a week. I'm tired from working out, but not enough to stop. I did RPM tonight with friends. It's so nice to have someone you know in the class with you. (It's harder to leave in the middle or push yourself so much) when you are alone in a class. So, on the bike at RPM and in the middle of like 4 out the 7 songs we are climbing. You put the gear as far up as you can and are standing up climbing at a regular pace b/c it feels like mud. You are jogging in mud. Then all of a sudden the music somehow goes even faster and you are told to run. You somehow just start going faster than you ever thought you could. And I DID IT! I did it for 8 seconds. I pushed myself and it felt so good. When I am on the bike I keep thinking, "I'm really doing this." I asked Jenny if she liked having a healthy sister to hang out with and work out with. I remember times when I couldn't even jog, I walked the whole time while doing a mile. Now I can easily jog a whole mile straight. I remember when I couldn't leave the house, let alone my bed/the couch b/c my panic attacks were so bad b/c I couldn't breathe. Now, I'm half of my milligrams on my medicine and I have ways to help myself when I'm feeling anxious. I have meditation music to go to sleep to. I know to get away from situations and to take a walk. I know how to work with my breathing to get it back down to a good base. TODAY was another proud moment for me. A book that I would recommend to ANYONE but especially someone who struggles with weight is Jemima J. I have read it over and over. It's about to quickly say, an overweight shy girl who works off her weight. One day she goes to the store with her best friend who of course happens to be model thin. She gets her hair done and then brings herself with her baggie workout clothes to a clothing store. I like to picture her going to an Old Navy or Gap. Jemima goes in with her friend and picks out things right off of the rack. The thing is, is that her friend has to keep going back to get a smaller size b/c Jemima J hasn't truly realized how much weight she has lost. That's what happened to me TODAY. Jenny, Mom and I went to the movies. I asked them to stop at one of the best stores, DOTS, b/c they always have new things and I still had a $30 gift card from Christmas. I really wanted a new outfit for Easter. Well, I tried on a couple of large dresses and they actually fit!!! I didn't get them b/c they were spaghetti strapped and short. Not school attire. But, I did get a cute a white sweater that doesn't go all the way down my back. Here's the moment: We stopped into Walmart and I decided to try on a spring dress that I have looked at and thought, "When I lose more weight than they will fit/look good." Well, I got a size 18 and 16. 16 I thought would be too tight and I could get at another time. I tried on a 16 that was just plain purple. It was BIG! I asked Mom to just get a size 14 in a checkered colored one, thinking that it would be too tight. IT WASN'T!!!! It fit really well and it's blue checkered, which hides flaws much better than a plain purple one. So, I want to tell you how much of a big deal this SIZE 14 dress is! I have a blue jean skirt that I have worn all of the time. Are you thinking of it now? If you know me, you have seen me in it. Well, since it's been spring like out I brought more capris and this jean skirt to the front of my closet. Well, in trying this skirt on, it is too big. It just FALLS OFF and then I look at the tag. My every day wearing blue jean skirt is a SIZE 20 and now I have a SIZE 14 dress to wear! I have SO SO always wanted to be Jemima J and have a striking new hairstyle and be able to go into a store and try on any shirt, pant, or skirt that I want and not have to think, "No", b.c they don't have an XXL or even an XL. Today I was able to do something that I've wanted to for a long time and it makes me smile on the inside, just like it did when I was running on the bike and really pushing myself and working through it during those 8 seconds.
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