Seed and Yeast

Oh how God is good. No, you don't think He has been listening to you or hears anything that you have to say, and BAM! he shows how wrong that you are. Today at church was on Luke 13:18-21. It was done by one of my favorites pastors, even if we only have three and I like them all. We are doing the whole book of Luke for about a year. Usually it is nice to know that you are going to be turning to Luke when you sit down to get ready for the sermon.
Well, today was on Seed and Yeast, Luke 13: 18-21. It's short and talks about a mustard seed. You know, one of those tiny tiny seeds that you wouldn't even see on the ground. How God is not in a hurry. God is gradual in planting the seed and growing it. We are the impatient ones. I could feel him looking at me when he said it. I know I am impatient. I am impatient in the car when people are going slow, I am impatient about God bringing me someone to date/love. At night I have been praying before I go to bed. Usually don't make a point to talk to the Lord as a fall asleep but have been for the last couple of days. I pour my heart out to Him. Once I start it just starts to come out. But, the thing is, it's been the same thing I pray about. I think it's the one thing that's always on my heart and I just act like I am okay with most of the time. I pour out that I am impatient and I know that He is doing things, but I am tired of waiting. I am tired of being excited about people who are pregnant. I don't even want a baby, I want someone to hold my hand! And so when I really allow myself to be honest with myself and God, I tell him that I am lonely. He has been showing me that He is there with me until He brings me my husband. Even as I am sitting here at Starbucks, typing this and listening to Joyce Meyer, the one that I just chose to listen to is Jealousy and Greed.
And after the mustard seed comes the Yeast. The leaven bread. How you must use a little leaven bread (moldy but needed) to put into what you are now making. At first I thought it was something else. I used the big picture to think about something else and then the preacher talked about how Jesus is the leaven bread. Once it's in the new yeast, smushing itself, it grows. It grows like the mustard seed and brings it to be it. It grows and becomes the new bread. that's us with God. We have him in our life, we allow him control and then we see him in us. So, at the end of the sermon and on the back of our paper, it gave questions to ask ourselves. I had already looked at the questions and here are some of them.
1. Take a few minutes and reflect on your life. About what things/areas can you say, "it is inexplicable, He must have done it!"?
2. What so you sense your current need for spiritual growth chiefly lies?
3. Spend some time in prayer thanking Him for what He has already done in your life and heart....Now entrust Him with what change is yet to come.

And so, here is what I think about the questions. I should be more thankful. I can list the things in my life where it just had to be God. I had a friend in college, I didn't know her but became quick friends when we both failed a much needed class. I failed it b/c my fiancee had been to infatuated with my fiancee and was at his beck and call when he came in town or was on the phone. She had the same bad relationship and we then had to take a class in order to graduate and God brought me that friend. He brought me a glimpse of what He could do in my life if I had given him control.
What about Guatemala? I was sick with a parasite and the doctor didn't speak English. It just so happened the the doctors wife came in to help me and translated for me when I went back in.
Brazil. I met a dear friend Hadassah that had been in a bad relationship like me and we prayed for our future husbands dearly and strongly in a bus going the road.
Even these days. I am having car problems. I don't have the money to get it fixed yet and it is by the grace of God that I have Jenny, my dear sister and she allows me to ride with her to school and allows me to use her car to go to church.
Instead of watching TV for hours, I have switched to reading or listening to a sermon online. I am not saying it's been perfect and I might not go home and watch a couple of thing on the church. But, I have been making better choices. I have a sin that keeps coming up every so often and instead of allowing it to burden me and partake in it all of the time, I have been doing other things instead.
I could go on and on. The old Christine would have been hanging her head low and feeling defeated about my bills. About how I react to things. But, with giving God control, I can hold my head high and know that i am doing everything that I possibly can about it.

There is a peace that I know when I trust in God. that's what Joyce Meyer just said. It can't be just a one time thing or a thing where I am trusting only when craziness ensues. There is always times of craziness. The devil wants to get at me quickly b/c I am no longer controlled by him.

So, sitting here at Starbucks and listening to Joyce Meyer and typing. I am looking around at the different sorts or people here, I still giving control over to you lord.

Lord,
Thank you so much for everything that you have done in my life. The things that I have hated you for and the things that I didn't even know that I needed. Oh, how I need you in my life. I need you more than I realize. Sometimes like today I get glimpses and I want to fall on my knees and thank you. Thank you for always taking care of me. If I think/really know that You have always taken care of me, than why don't I think that you will take care of the other bits and pieces. The things that I SO desperately would love to have. It's in your time and not mine. Even though it's SO hard at times, I give you it Lord. I give you my life and what you will do in it.

Amen.