This Again?

Tomorrow is yet another weigh in. This has been a really trying week. Didn't I write that the last post on my blog? I have worked out every day this week. I wasn't able to go to my Biggest Loser time Monday b/c of the car and Weds I was just emotionally spent and so I went to the gym instead. So, this is what I have realized. I am changing. Before I would just go to McDonalds and then feel bad for eating whatever I had. I would tell myself that the next day I would try again or begin my weight loss. But, even with my really hard time at work today, I went to the gym. I had a headache from the coffee I had drank and I was this close to crying if someone said something to me. I did the early RPM class. There wasn't that many people in the class. I was in the back of course and Kendra, the instructor remembered my name. I told her instantly that I had had a really bad day and that instead of going home and eating, I had come to class to let go of some frustration. Going through the class was rough at times. Since I hadn't done the class in a week, sitting on the seat made me sore once again. I also had the headache and just didn't feel right. I was listening to the music and pedaling the bike, when Kendra called out, "Christine, follow me." So, I peddled even faster to match her. She was later telling us to go faster and she called out, "Christine, you can do it." I instantly got tears in my eyes b/c someone saw that I was trying. That I was in fact moving. I made it through the whole class and felt so good afterwards. I still had the headache and was feeling a little anxious, but I was a better person b/c I in fact did show up and did my best. This morning was my first Prayer Group at school. A friend had invited me and some others to come in really early once a week to pray for the kids and the things that are going on around us. Well, it was way late and I was the only one there this morning. I had brought up my journal, bible, and book that I happened to be reading at the moment. I think that I got more out of it when I was alone this morning with God than if someone had shown up. The book that I have just finished was called Waiting With God. Or at least Waiting was the first word in the title. So, the quiet time was wonderful. I just tonight finished the book and the last chapter was the best. It said to take time to be with God. That in more words than the last sentence. It said to think for how long, where, what specifically you want to know from God, and to list the obstacles that you might have while having your quiet time. And so, how long? As long as it takes. When? Mornings at work before the children come in. If I was at home, I wouldn't do it. Also, Tuesdays and Thursday afternoons b/c I have those days off from after school. Obstacles? Giving myself the time and allowing myself to have the time. Taking away the lists of things that I will tell myself that I have to get done instead of journaling/reading/just being silent. What specifically do I want to know from God? Well, that is going to take some thinking time.