Emotionality: Yes, I made up the Word.

Okay, this week as been a little too much! I don't know even how to begin. Maybe by telling you that we did an Outside Challenge at the Biggest Loser today. We did games from our past. We quickly warmed up and then we did a three legged race, Simon Says, and we also had to keep a ball in a parachute from coming off of it. There was some down time and so I got to talk to my team mates about just regular things. I found that once you start talking about what your going through, the not good days and not just saying, "I'm doing good,"you can see that your not the only one going through tough times. Tough times is what I can call it. A season of trials is another way to look at my life right now. Well, the Challenge was over and I was excited that I had been in the top 5 during Simon Says, doing jumping jacks, mountain climbers, and other things for a long stretch. On the way in, my captain Tim, asked me, "Are you okay?" I said yes, even though I wanted to say, I am better after working out today." He patted me on the back and said, "I was worried about you." That is so what I needed to hear. Not that I need any worrying, but I needed to know that I have been noticed, that I had been seen. I had to take a Mental Health this past week. I was at the point of hating, yes, tired and not liking writing down anything more that I ate and working out. I was tired of doing all of this and not seeing huge results. I have been hearing that I look different, skinnier and healthier, but since I gained last week 2 pounds and I have been trying to get below 200 for what seems forever I have sabotaged myself in my thinking. And so, I am not going to weigh myself this week and I am going to take it slow. I am going to work out as much as I can and before I eat, I am going to really think about what I am putting into my mouth. On the other side of my Mental Health week, I am tired of my job this year. Without going into the little things that make it big, I am tired and stressed at this time with my job. I do love my kids and I think that b/c of the kids and my close knit of coworkers, I am staying sane. Usually at this time of year I go from doing 4-5 days of after school to doing 3. So, in the coming weeks I am going to be doing three days a week which will allow me to work out after school more and to just go to Starbuck's and sit and read/journal/pray. I am wondering if I have talked about my Love language yet on my blog. Last night when I was at Zumba with Jenny, a girl came in with her water bottle and her book. I am finding in my 30's I am no longer shy and so I asked the girl if she liked the book. She had said that her boyfriend and her had been reading it together. Well, for a little while I have been constantly reminded of what my love language is and also what love language I like to use for other people. If you know me, my love language for others is Gifts. I am just like my mother in the way that a card, candy, but really something needed/liked is given to someone else. My love language that I love to receive is physical touch. This year the Lord has answered my prayer through the children in my class. Special educational students in ways of Autism and SDD have given me to writing this in my journal: Are you Experiencing the kind "touch" of Jesus? Ask for it. Lord, my love language is physical touch. How nice it is when one of my kids shouts my name, takes my hand, takes my hand, or gives me a hug. And so I need that tug on my shoulder or really a hug to feel that I am loved/cared for. Then during our Ash Weds service I was hugged my a friend at church. It was unexpected but really liked. It was a real hug not one of those side pats on your back. Then when my captain Tim patted me on the back and asked me how I was doing, it showed yet again that God is taking care of me and is answering my prayers.