We wouldn't trust anyone else........

I was in church today and I had so many different thoughts, so I wrote them all down. Here it goes............

I think that the two people that I work with aren't used to having help. I think that last year I was two people. I had such a hard time when I found out that I would be working with two new people. God knew. God knows. God answered my prayers and took away my anxiety. I am still with Special Ed. students and figuring out how they tick and ways to hep them not to get out of control. But, now I have another para-pro that helps them where I can get my work done and not rush to the kids.

Prayer: I have been taking two more minutes in bed to pray about the day. To ask God for me to see Him during the day. I have also been tired this week. I haven't gotten my hours of needed rest. I can't stay up late b/c I get up so early in the morning.

I have given my bills over to the Lord again this month. I have paid in full the big ones. The rest, (my credit cards) I am going to pay what I can. I have to lay down the fact that I am working. That I am doing the best that I can my paying my bills. I have bought groceries and haven't stopped for fast food.

Brazil

So, this coming two Sundays we are having a Ministry Fair at my church. You can sign up to help in a lot of ways, do Lowe Lane things, and they posted the two Missionary Trips that are going on. We are going to Brazil during our Spring Break and then going to Hungary at the end of June. I really want to go to Brazil, but only want to go if God wants me to. Please say a prayer that I will know whether or not God wants to me go and if it will badly conflict with my job. It says that we would leave the Friday before we get out, but get back on that Sunday.

Thank you for your prayers!!

Ms. Kramer

Here's what's one of my nuggets drew when asked to draw his teacher. It's me, can you tell by the glasses?

The website

Here is the website that I talked about a few blogs ago. Isn't it the nicest thing? I miss my kids from last year. Check this out!

http://olgaspivey.com/kramer.html

It will take a little while to begin.

Another Day....

Well, first I have a job!! I still have my job!! We were called up to the Principal's office and were told that one of us was needed to go to another school to be a para-pro. We were told two schools that needed one and then had time to see if anyone was going to volunteer. If not, then the county would look at seniority. Once the principal walked out of the county, one woman stepped up and said that since she lived closer to the new school, that she would make the move. We all thanked her and of course I got teary-eyed when it came to my turn.

So, I have my job and it's been crazy like all week b/c the kindergartners are new. They are brand spankin' new. They don't know to not shout out. They don't even know our names so we just hear, "Teacher, Teacher!". I don't think some of them understand the concept of teacher/authority and being asked to do something would make you do it. But, each day it has gotten a lot better. Lunch time with 43 kids (me being with two classes) can be a little hectic, but today I got them seated, all their things opened, and got to walk around easier today.

I am loving my kids already. I pray every morning for the Lord to be with me and to show me that He is there. Today, in one class we were reading, Did you fill my bucket? book. It's a book that every classroom uses and it's a way for people to be kind and not mean to each other. To get off of the rug, you had to say something about how you would fill some one's bucket, (Share toys, tell someone you love them, give a compliment). The boys came up to me and one nugget told me, "Give them a hug!" and he totally gave me a hug. One girl had already told one and so she came up to me and said for her answer to how to fill some one's bucket, "You love Jesus and God." It was so nice to hear the words Jesus and God from such a little thing.

It's been so TIRING this week! I get to work really early, 6:45 and then don't leave until 5:45 in the evening after school. For the past couple of nights, I have gone home, ate, picked out my next day clothes, got my lunch together, and then went to bed. Last night I went to bed at 8 PM and then only woke up at 2 AM b/c of a thunderstorm. I was still tired when I woke up at 6 in the morning!! My feet have been hurting b/c I have had to wear my ballet flats instead of my favorite go-to's, my flip flops! I am pretty sure that I will lose some weight this year from all of the walking that I do.

Another Day

I am tired. My kids are wearing me out. My After school kids are wonderful. I have from 5-6 Special Ed students each afternoon. It ranges from behavior problems to one that I have to help to the bathroom. They usually leave 5:30, so it's really not that bad.
The blessing from my last blog was that I have morning duty instead of afternoon car duty. I get to school early, 7 AM duty in the cafeteria. I know a lot of the students so I can chat with them, they can eat, and then go begin their days in their classrooms.
I go between sad, (I want to cry) to angry about my job situation. I am at the point that I just want to know whether to not I keep my job. We got an e-mail saying that we are to meet with the principal and a man from the county at 9 AM. I think, I really think that the man is going to say which school needs a para and I think we are going to be asked who wants to volunteer. I think that the principal is just going to have to end up choosing someone to go. I have no idea what it will be based on.....Seniority? Evaluations?
There is a reason that the Lord is testing my patience level. I didn't' think that it could reach any higher and it has.
There is this boy in my one class with white bond hair and just curls. I just thought that he was going to be a terror, but he said, "Yes Ma'am" today after being asked to stop. He so was the best listener today and was looking at me to answer his questions today.
One girl took my hand and kissed it while walking to lunch. At lunch I heard, "Miss KRAY! and then a sweet wave. I have heard Mrs. Kray, Mrs. Krane, but haven't heard Ms. Kramer yet.
At the end of this post I am going to put the best present I ever received. Last years Room Mom was the best and she took time to individually make me and my friend Danielle a video of our kids telling what they loved about us. It's so sweet. Kids can be real. If they don't like you, they don't hide it. But, if they love you, you hear shouts of Ms. Kramer like I did when taking my kids to snack in ASP. You hug the ones that come out of line to say Hello.
Here is the Scripture that I am trying to rest in. To know and believe this to be true. That my Abba knows all about me. That he takes care of me when I am tired and I don't feel like I deserve it. B/c I am tired. Tired physically and mentally. But the Lord knows what's on my mind and in my heart at all times. Even when I am too tired to go to Him about things.

Hebrews 6:10
Christine, God is not unjust, He won't forget your work and the love you have shown Him and you have helped His people and continue to help them!

Oh, how I feel like I am forgettable. That people/God doesn't see what I do, all of the good work that I do throughout the day. But, even if I fee like the Lord is silent, He is really not. That's so easy to write, but I am really feeling it to be true lately.
Here is something else that I wrote in my journal.

Sometimes God may be allowing bad things into your life to prepare you to handle GREATER blessings.
Oh, if that was true for me Lord. I would name off the blessings that I would like to receive (husband, debt gone), but I have tried to live my life the way that I have wanted, which only led to sinful behaviors.
I want a life filled with love. I don't want my life, I want the life that God has planned for me.

Oh, that you would bless me indeed, that you would expand my territory. Lead me away from anything evil.

I can hardly keep my eyes open so at 9 PM, I am going to bed. Wish me luck for tomorrow. I won't need it b/c I know that my Abba will be sitting right beside me.

Strength

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord, wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord.

Still do not know anything about my job and don't know when we will find out which para pro will be asked to go to another school. God has SO surrounded me the last couple of days. This morning while in the car driving to work, I just prayed for God to surround Himself around me and for me to see/feel Him throughout the day. I so did. I did in ways that a friend had to remind me of something that happened today and look at it as a blessing.

I am not good at waiting. I am not good at being patience. The Lord knows this. He SO knows this. I was talking with my wonderful friend Jackie after church yesterday and one thing that I said about not knowing if I had a job at LRE was, am I SO stuck in sin that God needs to use this to show me it? Am I so not giving up control and not just knowing, but believing and acting as though God has my best interest at heart? That when I don't feel him or I have to be patient, that is a chance to be reminded that God is my Abba.

I put my prayer request on my church's website. It's like Facebook without all the bad things that come along with it. A wonderful mother of a family that I love posted the best thing for me!! She had two children who had gone through Little River and I remember her daughter's class like it was yesterday. She posted that LRE wouldn't be the same without me and that she thinks of me when she remembers the school.

I am so tired after a very long day. I am not going to type that much more, but I wanted to post something about today. One blessing is that the para pros were told that they would be working an extra half an hour without any more pay. We were given afternoon duty, which is usually when I begin ASP. But, the asst. principal asked if anyone would like to switch to a morning duty and after no one said anything, I asked or said that I would be willing to come in early. That means that my ASP time would not be changed and I could have more hours in it. It was a blessing b/c I usually don't speak up and that I was able to do it.

My first day of school with 23/22 kids making 45 kids all together was lovely and tiring. I was moving around all day long, and towards the end of the day was able to really take a look at my kids and get to know some of them a little. One of my new friends Melvin, started crying in line b/c " I want to bring my lunch from home! I want my MOOOOMMMMY" He had really big alligator tears and I just wanted to somehow take a lunchbox from out of a hat and give it to me. I coaxed him into the lunchroom and told him that he should tell his Mom that he wanted to bring his lunch.

One of the best parts of the first day is to see my kids from years before. They are taller and are walking around as first and second graders. They give you a hug. They scream your name from across the room.

Well, I am off to bed now. Another day of patience.

Oh Lord, I am asking to feel your presence throughout the day tomorrow. I pray that I will know that you are right beside me, holding my hand and knowing that I so need to hear/see you. I pray that I don't allow my emotions to get the best of me and that the words that come out of my mouth are worthy of you hearing them. I love you Lord and I go to sleep tonight knowing that you are there right with me.
Amen.