The one book that is taking me longer than an afternoon or a day to read is on my list for "Being on a Boat Ride." Oh how this is a boat ride of a book. The book is called You want to walk on water, You have to get out of the Boat by John Ortberg. I have seen this book on the shelf and have wanted to read it for a while. The book is wonderful detailing Peter getting out of the water during that terrible storm to be with the Lord. The chapter I am reading now is talking about Joseph, His Magical Coat, and his life. The book just talked about C.S Lewis' Screwtape Letters and says:
Although we would think people are most vulnerable to temptation in seasons when their energy level and appetites are highest, in fact it is when we are in the valley, when we are struck by sadness and desolation, that we are in the most dangerous place.
And I believe that is where many of us are. Okay, I know that's where I am at. When you don't think that anything else could go wrong, bam it does! and what do we have to do during that time? Just wait for the next upset or the next thing to go wrong? We are to stand firm and be true to your values. That's what the book says and that's all well and good but when you are having a crisis or are hit with a panic attack when you least expect it, control goes out of the window. Why is it easier to make someone else feel better when they are having a hard time or a crisis when in the same boat you berate yourself with hateful words and talk yourself into feeling like you are the worst person on Earth? Why is it that someone could tell me the same thing that is going on with me and I will not pity them or think they are a terrible person when in fact I am overcome with shame for myself? Why do I feel like God wouldn't look at me the same way? Why don't I feel like I deserve forgiveness?
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