This isn't me anymore

From: Lies Women Believe by Nancy Lee De Moss

By constantly blaming others, blaming circumstances, and blaming God, I found myself totally irresponsible for my life, my sins, and my choices-and then I was trapped and felt helpless and out of control.

Oh, how I just read that in my book and that goes along with today. I have blamed my issues of my father, on my childhood, sadly on my mother, on my old relationships. Everyone and everything other than me. But that's Old Christine. This new Christ-like Christine is admitting her faults and asking for forgiveness. My childhood was my childhood. Who I am is because of it. I can not change that some others in my family did not have the same. Some did not have a mother that would finish at work and then take us along for another job in the evenings. They didn't have a job at 16 and worked at times two jobs while changing positions at Harris Teeter and Hollywood Video. I have worked for my first car, a beat up 1986 Buick that I had to stop halfway to school each day to let "her cool down." I worked a summer, losing weight in the sun, helping my father pack and move houses throughout Ga, North Caroline and South Carolina. That was the summer before after my senior year and I made $2500 an used it to put a down payment on a Ford Contour that was the nicest car I ever seen. That was also the summer that my boyfriend dumped me b/c I was on the road too much and also b/c I wouldn't sleep with him. (that is for another story) Have you ever wondered what you call your ex-boyfriends and boyfriends? All of mine have been known as the first and last name. I was engaged to Michael Todd, not just a guy named Michael. That dude that dumped me after I wouldn't go all of the way with him, was Bobby Law. Maybe I will know who my husband will be when he is known only for his first name. Back to the beginning of the entry, I was and am only saying that bitterness can keep you away from the life that God wants to you to live for Him. And I am not going to be bitter any longer.